"I Set Myself On Fire" is a song I wrote while I was still living on Cornelia Street in the West Village of New York City.

Right after graduate school, I was working for IBM. The commute and salary were such that, after my travels from Manhattan to Yorktown, NY (via subway, train and then cab from the Croton on the Hudson Station) my net income was $470 per week and that's if I didnít eat. At that time, I was living with a girl, who was attending St. John's University Law School. Her family was rather wealthy and lived in Syosset, NY. I never asked her for any rent or expense money, because I never felt it fair, as she would ocassionally stay at her parents house during the week and then stay with me the rest of the week and on the weekend. As my financial situation worsened, my friends would privately berate me for not asking this young woman to chip in for living expenses. They vilified her and this in turn added to my frustration. (She once told me that people who love each other never fight about money. I don't remember my parents ever fighting about anything else. So, I guess that is the axiom of the wealthy).

In 1997 I began work on a documentary film with friends of mine who were paying me what seemed enough money to help me out my financial morass. The production assistant inundated me with books and documents, which needed to be scanned in (or videotape... I wasn't sure exactly how to do it). So, I spent a lot of time setting up tables and wood planks, trying to shoot the pictures without ruining the books and also keeinging the pictures from producing morie patterns on the video. I also spent a lot of time working on and worrying about this film, instead of spending time with the young woman in my life. Anyway, one Friday night at about 11:30, when I was half asleep after a long week of going to IBM during the day and working on the documentary at night, the phone rang and it was the young woman calling from her parents home in Syosset. After some small talk she asked me if I had been seeing anyone else. I explained that I was frustrated and working day and night, so I could make some extra money with this film, because I was broke after working a 40 hour week at IBM. She sheepishly told me that she thought that I was seeing someone else, so she slept with one of the guys from her law school the night before. Well, I thought I was gonna throw up. I thought I was going to cry and never stop. I thought that it was my fault and I didn't deserve anyone this wonderful to love me, so of course she would leave me for someone else. But part of me was so mad that I wanted to never see her again. The other part of me wanted to be with her ever moment of my life.

And ever after that, I had this great big hole in my heart, which I tried to cover up by being funny and wearing baggy shirts.

I just felt so stupid, and when I feel stupid... I sing.

I Set Myself On Fire
words and music by Park Borchert

I set myself on Fire
I will not be sick again
The smell of gasoline
It burns my nose

You take him in your arms
The night enfolds around you
A man you've barely known two years
I am sick again

When you touch him
When you kiss him
When you take him in your mouth
When you take him

When you touch him
When you kiss him
I am sick again, oh oh oh oh
I am sick again oh oh oh oh
I am sick again oh oh oh oh
I am sick again oh oh oh oh

I set myself on fire
My flesh it burns like paper
My heart's already died
I am sick again

Does he want you for your mind? I don't think so
Does he want you for all time? I don't think so
Is his love for you like mine? I don't think so
I am sick again

When you touch him
When you kiss him
When you take him in your mouth
When you take him

When you touch him
When you kiss him
When you take him in your mouth
When you take him

When you touch him
When you kiss him
I am sick again, oh oh oh oh
I am sick again oh oh oh oh
I am sick again oh oh oh oh
I am sick again oh oh oh oh

And it feels so cold